HIV/AIDS in South Africa
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For the past few years, people have been able to hook up through the Positive Connection, a website offering dating services for HIV sufferers. The service is the brainchild of Ben Sassman, a salesman living in Johannesburg. A few years ago, two of his friends told him they were HIV positive and that they had trouble dating. When they revealed their status, women invariably fled. Mr Sassman suggested online dating, but realised that existing services do not help those with HIV. So he launched www.
There are an estimated 5. The government has long been criticised for not doing enough. And though South Africa now has one of the largest treatment programmes, it has been slow to get going and reaches only a fraction of the , or so people thought to need them. The website does its bit to help.
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Mabeo is a member of Positive Connection, the only Internet dating forum geared to people with HIV in South Africa, the country with more infections – over 5 million and counting – than any other. I still haven’t found anyone I’ve gotten romantically involved with, but I’m carefully going through the list. AIDS is no longer an automatic killer here.
As in the United States, it has become a chronic illness for those with access to antiretroviral drugs. Up to , South Africans are on treatment, well below the half-million deemed in urgent need of care but far more than a few years ago. Life insurance is an option for some with HIV, and medical advances make it easier to bear healthy children. Yet romance remains a fraught pursuit. Despite an adult HIV prevalence rate of about 20 percent, the stigma attached to the disease remains harsh.
HIV-negative people, not surprisingly, want to stay virus-free, site members say, and are likely to bolt if a partner discloses positive status. Members are gay and straight, white and black, secretaries and bankers, with one other tie: access to the Internet. But some AIDS experts say that while they understand the appeal, they worry it could hinder efforts to bring carriers of the virus further into mainstream society. If you start having dating Web sites specifically for them, it will ghettoize them and make them a separate segment,” says Debbie Mathew, who directs the AIDS Foundation of South Africa.
Olive Shisana, author of a recent AIDS study conducted by the Human Sciences Research Council, says nearly half of South Africans surveyed think there is nothing wrong with marrying someone with HIV, even though that would always require protected sex.
Although research has extensively documented the experiences of illness of people living with HIV, dating, marriage, and fatherhood among heterosexual Latino men has not been examined. To address this gap, this study used a qualitative study design to examine patterns and strategies for dating, marriage, and parenthood among 24 HIV-positive heterosexual Puerto Rican men living in Boston.
The findings in our study indicate that an HIV diagnosis does not necessarily deter men from having an active sexual life, marrying, or having children. In fact, for some of the men, engaging in these social and life-changing events is part of moving on and normalizing life with HIV; these men planned for, achieved, and interpreted these events in the context of establishing normalcy with HIV. Although the HIV diagnosis discouraged some men from engaging in sexual relations, getting married, or having children, others fulfilled these desires with strategies aimed to reconciling their HIV status in their personal life, including dating or marrying HIV-positive women only.
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Are you living with HIV and need help with housing, medication, or medical care? Our patient care programs are here for you.