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The show follows the journey of a Mumbai-based matchmaker who arranges marriage alliances between wealthy families in India and the US. What is disconcerting is not simply the easy acceptance of social conservatism by the young and elderly, not the least by Indian diaspora in the United States. What stands out for Indians is the importance of marital status.
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The rhetoric of modernity, education, and progress is a powerful one that deludes us into thinking that regressive and repressive aspects of match-making are either a thing of the past, the rural, or the uneducated and uninformed. Denting this urban self-fashioning is the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking , which has held up a mirror to Indian society. Rather, it has shown how casteism and sexism merge with money, high-status, and modernity in the urban milieus of Mumbai, Delhi, New York, and Chicago.
About one out of every eight Internet users in India is signed up on one of the country’s so-called “matrimonial websites. Nash Jenkins. Jenkins is an American man living in India who discussed the trend for The Atlantic after signing up briefly with matrimonial site Shaadi. A commercial for Bharat Matrimony’s personalized service touts marriages that are not arranged but “assisted!
Jenkins seems quick to paint the websites as little more than arranged marriages -lite, based in part on one personal encounter with a woman whose profile was written by her parents. But the fact that these matrimonial sites are so popular points to the fact that more young Indians aren’t being set up for marriages by others — most of the users, says Jenkins, are urban, middle-class young Indians. And while the sites are geared toward the marriage-minded, they’re not all that different from American dating websites , especially the more relationship-oriented ones.
What makes a show like ‘Indian Matchmaking’ possible? This book examines marriage in India
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The notion of teaching them to adjust is at the crux of her process, as she works with entire families to find the right partner for their would-be brides and grooms. In some ways, the show is a modern take on arranged marriage, with contemporary dating horrors like ghosting and lacking the skills for a meet-up at an ax-throwing bar. But issues of casteism, colorism and sexism, which have long accompanied the practice of arranged marriage in India and the diaspora, arise throughout, giving viewers insight into more problematic aspects of Indian culture.
As an Indian-American girl growing up in Upstate New York, one part of my culture that was especially easy to brag about was weddings. They were joyful and colorful, and they looked more like a party than a stodgy ceremony. While living under the same roof in quarantine, my mom and I have had a lot of time to watch buzzy Netflix shows together.
Matchmaking illustrates the ills of Indian society | Opinion
By Shreeya Sinha. India now has more than 1, matchmaking sites, giving parents — and potential brides and grooms — thousands of choices to help arrange modern marriages while allowing families to adhere to longstanding traditions regarding caste and religion. We asked readers, some of whom only gave their first names, who have used such sites to share their tips.
Kadhambari Sridhar, 26, from Falls Church, Va. She said she had hoped the site for Tamils looking for mates would help her find a husband who lived in the United States and shared her religion and culture.
Matrimonial websites that are widely employed to find husbands and wives, both for Indians in India and the Indian diaspora, are tailor-made for specific.
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Indian Matchmaking: The ‘cringe-worthy’ Netflix show that is a huge hit
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About one out of every eight Internet users in India is signed up on one of the country’s so-called “matrimonial websites.” These are the Indian.
Coronavirus: How Covid has changed the ‘big fat Indian wedding’. India’s richest family caps year of big fat weddings. A new Netflix show, Indian Matchmaking, has created a huge buzz in India, but many can’t seem to agree if it is regressive and cringe-worthy or honest and realistic, writes the BBC’s Geeta Pandey in Delhi. The eight-part docuseries features elite Indian matchmaker Sima Taparia as she goes about trying to find suitable matches for her wealthy clients in India and the US.
In the series, she’s seen jet-setting around Delhi, Mumbai and several American cities, meeting prospective brides and grooms to find out what they are looking for in a life partner. Since its release nearly two weeks back, Indian Matchmaking has raced to the top of the charts for Netflix in India. It has also become a massive social phenomenon.
Hundreds of memes and jokes have been shared on social media: some say they are loving it, some say they are hating it, some say they are “hate-watching” it, but it seems almost everyone is watching it. The in-your-face misogyny, casteism and colourism on display have caused much outrage, but also inspired many to introspection. Ms Taparia, who’s in her 50s and like a genial “aunty” to her clients, takes us through living rooms that resemble lobbies of posh hotels and custom-made closets filled with dozens of shoes and hundreds of items of clothing.
That, though, is mostly with her Indian-American clients – where men and women in their 30s have tried Tinder, Bumble and other dating apps and want to give traditional matchmaking a chance to see if it helps them find love.
Indian Matchmaking: Why I have finally decided to go for arranged marriage
Every reality show has at least one villain. As Sima and the show itself frequently remind us, arranged marriage is not quite the form of social control it used to be; everyone here emphasizes that they have the right to choose or refuse the matches presented to them. But as becomes especially clear when Sima works in India, that choice is frequently and rather roughly pressured by an anvil of social expectations and family duty. In the most extreme case, a year-old prospective groom named Akshay Jakhete is practically bullied by his mother, Preeti, into choosing a bride.
Indian Matchmaking smartly reclaims and updates the arranged marriage myth for the 21st century, demystifying the process and revealing how much romance and heartache is baked into the process even when older adults are meddling every step of the way.
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It has been a few months into trying out the prospect of arranged marriage. The decision came with the desire to find a decent, understanding companion I could share my life with. At the outset, let me tell you the process of finding a suitable match in this structure requires a considerable investment of time and energy. So after much deliberation, I finally decided to take the plunge. As an independent, working woman of today, why did I choose to do this?
Not because of a lack of faith in the ability to fall in love organically but an inkling that perhaps sometimes love is not just enough. The structure of arranged marriage, on the contrary, was allowing me to pick and choose the man who suited my criteria — including emotional intelligence — and help me eliminate apparent risks in a relationship like any toxicity that sometimes go unnoticed, ignored or encountered later in an otherwise organic romantic bond.
This, of course, does not go to suggest that an arranged marriage would turn out to be risk-free, but an early red flag gives you the chance to opt out of the match without any baggage. Perhaps the fact that we see progressive and successful men and women of today as shown in the series still going ahead with the set-up challenges the argument in a way. And we millennials are familiar with such people or are trying out the option ourselves, whether we want to admit it or not.
Again, if someone is opting for an arranged marriage, it is not always because they were forced by their parents. On matrimonial websites, many men and women handle their own profiles and are able to exercise agency in choosing the right match. But that is of course not an easy task. You have to go through numerous profiles and interact with a number of potential matches before making a decision, which is an extremely exhausting process.