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Instrument Jokes

Welcome to our regular segment where we take the national whipping boy for a different country and let our friends from that country whip him in the traditional manner in order to promote greater cultural understanding and chuckles. More or less, the French don’t like anyone who isn’t from their country France. They don’t like the Spanish they’re hairy! But the thing they “don’t like” the most must be the Arabs.

Try saying, Hey Siri, what’s the date? Britta who? Britta, I don’t do knock-knock jokes”, “Knock, knock. Are you stupid? “I’m smart enough to.

Over the course of its nine seasons, The Office had many phenomenal music moments. But not all of them were cheap or easy to approve. Two of the most noteworthy took place during the supersized “A Benihana Christmas” episode of Season 3. Hint: It involved a personalized Dundie Award. In reminiscing about Carol and Michael’s breakup and the dueling office holiday parties, Celotta shared that one of the jokes she wrote wound up being super expensive.

After Kinsey let out a scream, Celotta proceeded to explain the situation. Though Eddie Money’s “Two Tickets To Paradise” cost the show a hefty chunk of change, things went a bit smoother when they pursued the rights to John Mayer’s music for Michael and Andy’s karaoke scene. Novak who reached out to him because B. She then read the following excerpt from Mayer’s blog post.

I usually get asked so that people can goof on it, so I initially turned down the request. But, after thinking about it I decided to go for it — but with one stipulation. After another scream from Kinsey, Fischer explained that B. Novak presented John Mayer with a Dundie for “Tallest Music Dude” and then the singer agreed to let them use the song. Ultimately, Mayer let the two idiots sing his song, and to this day he deeply cherishes his Dundie Award and even shared a photo of it on Instagram in

60 Best Pick-Up Lines So Terrible & Funny They Will Definitely Work

We’ve rounded up a list of our favorite cheesy, bad pick-up lines that are so unabashedly awful that you’re almost guaranteed to get a smile. For as long as there have been single people looking for a relationship or at least a date for Saturday night , there have been cheesy pick-up lines. Our Neanderthal ancestors used them—you can be sure some Caveman tried a line like “Can I hiber-mate with you through the Ice Age? So why have pickup lines survived, even though they make us cringe?

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I believe one of the great wonders of life is being silly and playing and laughing. God gave us a sense of humor and hilarity and the ability to smile. And be goofy. A few weeks ago, I shared 23 of the best Bible jokes and riddles. You can read that, here. How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me? How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?

Megan Thee Stallion Calls Draya Michele Out for Joking About Gun Violence and Tory Lanez

Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me. Spice things up in a first date by wearing a parachute and refusing to talk about it. Girls complain about guys using them for sex, but sex is awesome! Start bitching when he uses you for laundry, or as a human shield.

In Dumb Dad Jokes, the editors of Reader’s Digest compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners from the magazine and put them all in one.

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18 Punny Jokes That Have No Right To Be As Hilarious As They Are

As she made the long journey from New York to South Africa, to visit family during the holidays in , Justine Sacco, 30 years old and the senior director of corporate communications at IAC, began tweeting acerbic little jokes about the indignities of travel. There was one about a fellow passenger on the flight from John F. Kennedy International Airport:. Get some deodorant. Thank God for pharmaceuticals.

METEOROLOGIST JEFF HABY. 1. What did the male raindrop say to the beautiful female raindrop? -I’m falling for you 2. What do raindrops get if they go to an.

These funny dating jokes will hook you up with some hot laughs. Whether you got a lot or not dates , you’ll get some grins. I need to date someone who doesn’t communicate with me by rumor. A woman already knows. Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. I love to shop after a bad relationship.

I don’t know.

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Pocket-lint – If you have an Apple device, you’ve probably met Siri , Apple’s voice assistant. Siri is an interesting little assistant, sometimes useful, sometimes funny and other times, a sarcastic little so and so. To most questions you’ll get a standard response with the information you need, such as the nearest supermarket. But there are a few questions you can ask Apple’s Siri and a few sentences you can say to your virtual friend from Cupertino that will trigger some hilarious responses – awesome Siri Easter Eggs just waiting to be found!

In case you didn’t know, an “Easter Egg” is a hidden feature inside software that, predominantly, just serves to amuse rather than be for practical benefit. If you know of any more that you’ve tried, let us know in the comments and share the fun.

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They say you only get one chance to make a first impression. Unfortunately, for most of us, that means we only have one chance to win over someone cute at a party, chat up a classmate, or impress that new co-worker. The good news? There’s a better way to break the ice than asking, “so, what do you do? He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did. Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Dating Humor

Jump to navigation. Please note: Entries within this blog may contain references to instances of domestic abuse, dating abuse, sexual assault, abuse or harassment. At all times, Break the Cycle encourages readers to take whatever precautions necessary to protect themselves emotionally and psychologically. Everyone jokes around and teases their family and friends.

What happens when it goes from innocent teasing to insulting?

Dumb date-related jokes aside, this is going to be actual game content. I’ve been working on some unlockable characters that mix up the game.

After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is no money left. The friend says, “How can that be? How could you be broke? And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation for the church and the organist and all. The rest went for the memorial stone. He said. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?

Encouraging Your Child’s Sense of Humor

A sense of humor can brighten family life. You can blow raspberries on a baby’s belly, put on a silly hat and chase a 3-year-old, or pretend to fall into a pile of leaves to amuse a first-grader. As kids grow into preteens and teens, you can share puns and jokes as their sense of what’s funny grows more sophisticated. Laughing together is a way to connect, and a good sense of humor also can make kids smarter, healthier, and better able to cope with challenges. We tend to think of humor as part of our genetic makeup, like blue eyes or big feet.

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless! One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida. I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. My doctor told me to watch my drinking.

100 Funny Video Game Jokes

These jokes are a continually-growing collection, and unfortunately, I can no longer remember which jokes I heard from whom. If you have ever told, emailed, or otherwise communicated to me a music joke, thank you. Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert.

Dating Jokes. The Best Dating Jokes and Statuses from around the Web. Jokes about your Girl Friend, Boy Friend or Fiance. You will find them all here.

Including our favorite video game memes. My favorite game is Grand Theft Auto, you can do virtually anything. I was able to experience raping a child, robbing a charity shop and killing a Jew with my steel crowbar. My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish. You know when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there?

Hitler was one of the most evil men in history. He ordered the mass genocide of 6 million Jews and was pretty much responsible for kicking off World War II. A religious person came up to me the other day and asked me if I believed in evolution or creationism. Describe your sex life using pokemon moves. My smartass year-old son challenged me to a game of Tekken the other day, in front of his mates.

Yo momma is so fat, when Rubick tried to steal a spell from her all he got was diabetes. Spirit breaker would make a horrible salesman. Your mom is so dumb if silencer kills her, he loses int. Yo mama so fat, that when Bounty Hunter tracks her, he has a vision all over the map.